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✏ 38 year old cis female ✏ Fat ✏ Married ✏ Crazy Cat Lady ✏ Opinionated ✏ Swear-ey ✏ All caps silliness ✏ occasional pretendy writer ✏ LJ immigrant ✏ Journaling since 2006 ✏ Ex chatroom /forum role player ✏ Now on Tumblr ✏

[sticky entry] Sticky: New Entry - Who Dis??

Dec. 15th, 2015 03:36 pm
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Hello Dreamwidth. Hello journaling actually, since, I believe, my last actual regular writing in a journal happened sometime in 2014. I am going to tryyyyyy to make an honest to god journal entry here at least once a week. Even if it's a shitty entry. (And let's be honest, my entries are kinda always like that but hey it's my party and I'll ALL CAPS IF I WANT TO.) I hope you enjoy the wtfery that is me and my boring life hi.

I AM
Feast your special eyes on more about me by clicking here )
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Baked cauliflower "potatoes" with overnight crockpot pork and a side of baked zucchini lightly seasoned, drizzled with olive oil and thinly sliced garlic.

About 365 calories.
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Sometimes...sometimes when I am looking through my Deviant art notifications from certain DAZ 3d/Poser/3D art groups, I feel so...so very discouraged. 

There is nothing wrong with nude art, in my opinion. That's not the problem. The problem I see is the MULTITUDE of exploitative renders featuring women being in various states of...distress, either suggesting rape, or out right sexual assault being rendered and passed off as "BDSM/Kink/Fetish art." Some of it--anyway--others write these LOVELY little "stories" for these delightful renders and it's 100% clear there is no safe word, no consenting, nothing consensual at all. 

And then there's the 540334023 images of over blown tits and ass. Or nudes. Or bikinis. And out of those 3232392039023 images I might see TWO images actually tastefully portraying homosexuality, non gender conformity, or trans representation that isn't outright porn or even art directly for women (be they straight or not) and I remind myself that, those are the good ones. 

I'm not sure where I was going with this. Just--it's disheartening. I think it really detracts from some of beautiful, breath-taking, artistic, emotive nudes I have seen buried in out-right porn and some days I wonder if it's worth continuing. 

Then I remember I ain't doing this for them. The whole point of me starting to learn 3d art was to make the art FOR ME that *I* wanted to see. 

Just hafta keep reminding myself of that last part. Over and over and over and over and over again. 

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 -- about the heat. 

See, I knew, and I know, how hot it gets in Florida in the area I live in, during summer. And summer can start, really, anytime after Feb. here. The winters...oh the winters are SO NICE. The winter's here remind me of constant spring/summer in canada. Zero to low humidity, 70ish to middling 70's degrees. Windy or gentle windy days and it's so nice. Night times can drop to the 60's and occasionally 50's and below where in I actually MIGHT need to toss an extra blanket on the bed because I've had all the windows in the house wide open with that breeze blowing through. 

But then...but then summer comes. And it's not a gentle thing, either. You get no foreplay and no warning. Just one day you wake up and your weather app / favorite weather website tells you it's 87 with humidity over 60% and you are literally covered in a fine sheen of gross sweat, EVERYWHERE, within five seconds of leaving the house. The breeze is completely gone and the humid heat just drones and drones on you. 

It really doesn't help that I am fat, too. This kind of heat doesn't encourage me to actually go out and DO ANYTHING. 

Today is a summer day. The humidity is oppressing. I went outside earlier this morning to enjoy my coffee and watch the birds and all I could do was sit and sweat and moan dramatically. 

I have to go grocery shopping soon and I JUS DUN WANNNNNNAAAAA. Yes, I am just going to a car. From the ac in the car, to an AC cooled farmer's market type grocery store, back to car, back to home...But there's something about Florida's humidity that is just OPPRESSIVE AF in the summer that literally hoover-sucks all will to move, breathe, and be when you are in it for any small amount of time. 

So I am sitting here writing and complaining and bitchin' and moanin' about it instead of getting off my ass and going out into it because I am 3 and having a temper tantrum and I just DUN WANNA ADULT TODAY NOOOOOO. :( 

 

 

elf_fu: cleverly disguised (adultdisguise)

 

 

UTERUS! 
OVARIES!
MENSTRATION STATION!
PERIODS!
CRAMPS!


Okay, now that I have suitably frightened the shit out of those who are squeamish or not willing to read and or discuss anything that has to do with monthly lady business...

I have a period cat. 

Mel, you ask, what the hell is a period cat? And I'll say: I'm so glad you asked. LET ME TELL YOU. 

Usually, women are much smarter about their periods than I, on the whole. I didn't get into actually trying to track my monthly RED WEDDING until a few YEARS ago--when I realized that HOLY GOD SOME SMART MOFOS made TRACKING APPS! I COULD GET WARNED BEFORE THE DESTROYER CAME TO TOWN! Or at the very least, since my period is about as predictable as I am--a general consensus of when and where I should be ready to shut down and feel like I am dying for a week so I can plan and prepare. 

I'm not sure when it happened. And it took me a long time to clue in. But--here's the thing: we have five cats. The oldest, and crankiest, and craziest is named Flora. Flora is a tiny little black cat who the Vets she goes to--to my CONSTANT delight (I love it), have sweetly nicknamed her SATAN KITTY. We think Flora is half siamese. She has that very, very, very distinctive siamese nose and triangle head--but is all black (or all very deep brown in direct sunlight.) She is a very nutty, bitey, scratchy, hissy loveable cat. Not all cats are super affectionate love bugs, and we at Casa De Pence are ok with that. Hell, Shawn owned a cat before we got married--and had her years after--that hid 18 hours of the day behind the bed and only came out to let us pet her, use the litter box, eat, and hide again. 

Flora is particular. She WANTS your attention and affection, yes. But only how SHE wants it. And the secret is: she never tells us how. Somedays you can pet her head and scritch the side of her face for hours until she turns into a liquid. Some days she allows you to pet her for EXACTLY 4.5 pets and then she freaks out and wants to devour your soul. That's just how she is. 

But for the last few years, she's taken, to what I thought was randomly, sleeping directly on my pillow a few nights out of the month. Sometimes its just one night. Sometimes it's two-three. And when she does, she will LITERALLY take up the entire pillow by loafing smack dab in the middle leaving me no room but a corner to either nuzzle her forepaws, or have her ass warm the top of my head. And she WON'T budge. 

After she has done this catly duty, she won't be seen on the bed again for another month-ish. 

And recently I realized that she has been doing this, on the dot, 1-3 days before I get my period. 

Literally, if she is on my pillow, I don't even have to look at my period tracker app anymore because if I see her on my pillow I know THE STORMS A'COMIN'. 

Some people use the calendar. Some people use a tracker. Some people don't use anything. Me? I get a period cat. 

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