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Hooray for Boobies & Other Fat Lady Tales

✏ 38 year old cis female ✏ Fat ✏ Married ✏ Crazy Cat Lady ✏ Opinionated ✏ Swear-ey ✏ All caps silliness ✏ occasional pretendy writer ✏ LJ immigrant ✏ Journaling since 2006 ✏ Ex chatroom /forum role player ✏ Now on Tumblr ✏
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Sometimes...sometimes when I am looking through my Deviant art notifications from certain DAZ 3d/Poser/3D art groups, I feel very discouraged. 

There is nothing wrong with nude art, in my opinion. That's not the problem. The problem I see is the MULTITUDE of exploitative renders featuring women being in various states of...distress, either suggesting rape, or out right sexual assault being rendered and passed off as "BDSM/Kink/Fetish art." Some of it--anyway--others write these LOVELY little "stories" for these delightful renders and it's 100% clear there is no safe word, no consenting, nothing consensual at all. 

And then there's the 540334023 images of over blown tits and ass. Or nudes. Or bikinis. And out of those 3232392039023 images I might see TWO images actually tastefully portraying homosexuality, non gender conformity, or trans representation that isn't outright porn or even art directly for women (be they straight or not) and I remind myself that, those are the good ones. 

I'm not sure where I was going with this. Just--it's disheartening. I think it really detracts from some of beautiful, breath-taking, artistic, emotive nudes I have seen buried in out-right porn and some days I wonder if it's worth continuing. 

Then I remember I ain't doing this for them. The whole point of me starting to learn 3d art was to make the art FOR ME that *I* wanted to see. 

Just hafta keep reminding myself of that last part. Over and over and over and over and over again. 

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The moment you've all been waiting for. ASK DRUNK MEL SHIT, THE VIDEO.

yes my friends. Another drunk Mel Video.
elf_fu: (unicorn)
I am thinking about--dear internet--crazy things.
(Insert overly sarcastic inward gasp of breath from you here)

I am thinking of holding a 24 blog-o-thon free-write about memories of my mother in order to raise $200 toward getting my humming bird tattoo on my right arm in honor of my mom, Darlene, who passed away last December 11th, 2011 and go with her signature I got there earlier this year.

For 24 hours I would spam the living-shit out of your friend page/feed with a link to my paypal/WePay account for donations toward this endeavor.

The question is internet--even if you can't donate, will you be able to help me by boosting the signal? And would you be willing to read a billion posts (24 probably) about my mom?
elf_fu: (unicorn)
For the last two months I have been dealing with a strange craving.

It comes and goes in strength; but it is always at the back of my mind. A phrase and what I want to do with it.

This too shall pass.

Something that for no reason I can fully explain, keeps lingering at the back of my head like the strange after-shadows of a light-puppet show. Aftereffects maybe, of staring at the sun--the little dark dots you withstand in order to look at something so bright and pretty.

More and more, I have this craving to see this phrase become a part of me. To be on my skin. I want to look down and see the words part of my body. To know that all the stupid things I did in my youth, I will do in my adult years, and might do as I get older--all the tears and self-loathing, will in time, pass.

It always does. But I often forget in moments of self-hate or sadness. I think that I may never survive. I think perhaps, that I will never see the sun through the spots.

This too shall pass, has become something of a silent mantra even though I am fine. Even though I'm doing pretty good, actually. It snuck in sometime and curled up in my brain like cats do in sunbeams.

I've told Shawn about it; and he doesn't seem adverse to it, which if you know Shawn at all--that's really quite amazing. It took me four years of hard work to convince him to fund my pink hair, after all.

I've always wanted to get a simple black and white tat of a cat's paw and my cat's (living and passed) name's in my skin. But it wasn't a pressing dream. I don't know how to explain it but that tattoo idea doesn't feel the same as the other. This feels like coming home. Like the truth. Like magic lost and forgotten and found again.

This too shall pass, isn't original. I've googled it and seen many others wearing the same words. And despite that I don't care. It's my skin and it my magic.
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Hello my lovlies.

I posted this entry: I want to write/paint you a story for love late last night, and since it's terribly dear and important to me I've decided to re-link to it today again. And I will probably spam it a few more times in the next couple of weeks.

Even better, I'd also like to direct your attention to yet another awesome post in the same vein: I want to write you a story/Make you a picture for love. Horizonchaser's digital rendering is pretty god damn nifty if you ask me, so there's even more chances to get something awesome--just be being awesome!


If you can't help (because lawd money sure is tight) financially you can help by spreading the word! Click that "share" button on Live Journal, copy these URL's,
And paste them into your facebook, G+, twitter, plurk, Heello,Reddit, Mixx or any of your favorite social media sites.

It's for a very good cause, for my friend sl_walker is going through a messy divorce right now. She had hoped to put a down payment on a duplex in order to get on her feet and start all over. Unfortunately, most of those funds are now tied up with a lawyer and her window of opportunity (Ie: leaving a bad situation forever) is slowly closing. I would like to help in any way I can, but like you, funds are short as well. I am hoping to to give something in order to get something for her. By sharing and passing around links, even if you can't donate--you're still giving, too!

Thanks so much!


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May 2017

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