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Hooray for Boobies & Other Fat Lady Tales

✏ 38 year old cis female ✏ Fat ✏ Married ✏ Crazy Cat Lady ✏ Opinionated ✏ Swear-ey ✏ All caps silliness ✏ occasional pretendy writer ✏ LJ immigrant ✏ Journaling since 2006 ✏ Ex chatroom /forum role player ✏ Now on Tumblr ✏
elf_fu: (Default)
Hello internet & my wonderful Deamwidth/Live Journal family. I know that in some cases, we are strangers—but I would like to ask you a favor.

My father-in-law, Mark A. Pence is currently in the hospital a bit under the weather. Could you help me cheer him up by sending him an e-mail and saying hi? You can send email to him by going here:https://www.health-first.org/applications/ecards/index.cfm send it to Mark Pence, Room D531 at Holmes

https://www.health-first.org/applications/ecards/index.cfm
elf_fu: (Default)
Hello my lovlies.

I posted this entry: I want to write/paint you a story for love late last night, and since it's terribly dear and important to me I've decided to re-link to it today again. And I will probably spam it a few more times in the next couple of weeks.

Even better, I'd also like to direct your attention to yet another awesome post in the same vein: I want to write you a story/Make you a picture for love. Horizonchaser's digital rendering is pretty god damn nifty if you ask me, so there's even more chances to get something awesome--just be being awesome!

BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE!

If you can't help (because lawd money sure is tight) financially you can help by spreading the word! Click that "share" button on Live Journal, copy these URL's,
http://elf-fu.livejournal.com/655126.html
http://horizonchaser.livejournal.com/104987.html
http://sl-walker.livejournal.com/246388.html
And paste them into your facebook, G+, twitter, plurk, Heello,Reddit, Mixx or any of your favorite social media sites.

It's for a very good cause, for my friend sl_walker is going through a messy divorce right now. She had hoped to put a down payment on a duplex in order to get on her feet and start all over. Unfortunately, most of those funds are now tied up with a lawyer and her window of opportunity (Ie: leaving a bad situation forever) is slowly closing. I would like to help in any way I can, but like you, funds are short as well. I am hoping to to give something in order to get something for her. By sharing and passing around links, even if you can't donate--you're still giving, too!

Thanks so much!
elf_fu: (Default)
Hello, I want to write you a piece of flash fiction. (A 500-1000 there abouts word story).

A story about anything you want. Want a story about your character? I'll do it. Want a story about your favorite character from a movie/game/book/you made up? I'll do it. You want some romance? I will do it. You want sexy sensual time stories? I'll do it. I have no shame, anything for love!

You get to keep it and do anything you want to it. Seriously, it'll be yours forever to post where you please and how you please.

Wait--what's that? You'd rather have a character portrait? I'm willing to try (so long as you're okay with some shakily drawn portraits/portraits from shoulders up/black and white or color left up to me). They will be smaller portraits. 500x500 or 1000x1000 or 800x600 depending. They'll be digitally done in adobe photo shop and sent to you in a file--but they'll be yours to do with whatever you want. Recolor? Okay. Add text? Sure. Remember that I haven't drawn in a very long time and that essentially, while I will do my best they won't be perfect.

But there's a catch.
There's always a catch, isn't there?

I'm doing this to raise some $ for a friend of mine, sl_walker who has 2 lovely chidlettes and is currently going through a pretty horrific divorce in order to save her sanity, her kiddies, and rebuild a proper home with someone who knows what love is all about. All of her money is tied up with her lawyer and she is desperately losing time on putting a down-payment on a duplex that would allow her to move out and leave this wretched man behind her. And, all of our money has currently been put into lawyer fees and computer upgrades. So I can't personally donate myself. But I can still help and so can you!



For a $5 donation to watson _ stephanie @ yahoo . com (without spaces!) via paypal, (or, if you would rather donate it directly to me and I will transfer it for you: elf_fu@2phatgeeks.com) I will write you story of anything you want.


If you donate $20 to watson _ stephanie @ yahoo . com (without spaces!) via paypal,(or, if you would rather donate it directly to me and I will transfer it for you: elf_fu@2phatgeeks.com) I will digitally paint you a portrait of anything you want from the shoulders up.


For a $35 donation to watson _ stephanie @ yahoo . com via (without spaces!) , (or, if you would rather donate it directly to me and I will transfer it for you: elf_fu@2phatgeeks.com) I will hand-craft for you a pair of cherry blossom earrings & matching black leather choker or a red mario mushroom charm and mail it to you.



SAMPLES OF EVERYTHING-WRITING, DIGITAL ART, POLYMER CLAY:
Epicureanpoetry@Deviant.art.com

MOAR SAMPLES:
Portfolio

SAMPLE OF HAND PAINTED CHERRY BLOSSOM EARRING TILE:
Photobucket



Can't afford to donate? You can still help! Please share this post. Any little bit helps. THANK YOU SO MUCH!

elf_fu: (adept samara)
"You wouldn't understand."
"How would you know?"
"You weren't there."
"You don't know what I know."
"Nobody can understand how I feel"


I understand that I have never been so bad off that I didn't know where I was going to live from one moment to the next. I've never had to dumpster dive out of necessity, be it for food, clothing, or furniture. I've never had an apartment that used milk cartons for chairs and I've never woken up to stare at big, fat, mobster cockroaches demanding rent for letting me sleep in their house.

I've never been so hungry that I've eaten dirt. I don't worry about being shot when I walk out my door and I've never had to survive a divorce.

I've never been violated in such a way that it has scarred me for the rest of my life.

I've never had my husband/SO/Partner hurt me so much I've needed stitches, a hospital, nor have they emotionally abused me in such a way that I am not able to function properly/require psychiatric help to recover my esteem.

And while I DO have some issues with my childhood I dance around the topic of now that I am older as a means of trying not to relive it--I generally had a childhood some kids would dream of having. I didn't turn tricks after I ran away. I didn't live on the streets.

But that doesn't mean I don't feel. That doesn't mean that I don't cry when my friends cry. It doesn't mean that my heart doesn't break for all of the terrible things happening in this world, from the barely covered atrocities going on right now to the (some might feel) unimportant news about Kitten season and how we can help save animal lives.

It doesn't mean that I am trying to belittle your pain or the very real things you are going through by offering my empathy or sympathy. And, when I cry with you or for you--I am not trying to make anything about me.

I don't have to wear your shoes to understand the pain in your eyes and feel it as keenly as if I'd been witness to whatever caused it.

I am human and I am helplessly trying to help. I post about pink things and wish lists and kittens and hot-fictional men, I post about my marriage and my writings, my pink hair and my life because it is all I have. I am passionate--mostly rightly so and half the time for the wrong reasons. I rush in when I shouldn't and mistake some things. I fumble, I trip, I fall and I pick myself up from it. I apologize when I I believe I should. And my laughter and enthusiasm and heart and loving you is, most of the time, all I can give and my only gift.


This is me. This is how I am and how I work. It's all I know how to be.
elf_fu: (tree cookies)
[11:35 - 12 2010] [livejournal.com profile] elf_fu: ::Holds her hand to her hear like a reporter trying to report during either a really bad storm or with a helicopter going behind here::
[11:35 - 12 2010] [livejournal.com profile] elf_fu: THERE ARE....SPRINKLES...
[11:36 - 12 2010] [livejournal.com profile] the_dream_king: alskfsdk
[11:36 - 12 2010] [livejournal.com profile] the_dream_king: ROFL
[11:36 - 12 2010] [livejournal.com profile] elf_fu: EVERYWHERE. I'M NOT SURE WHAT HAPPENED BUT THE REPORTS ARE PILING IN RIGHT NOW THAT THERE ARE CHOCOLATE COOKIES WITH NUMEROUS SPRINKLES WHICH COAT THE KITCHEN FROM ONE END TO THE OTHER.
[11:36 - 12 2010] [livejournal.com profile] elf_fu: MARK, I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT BEFORE IT'S JUST--::Shakes her head, wordless.:: RED, GREEN, YELLOW, BLUE--NO SPRINKLE LEFT OUT HERE.
[11:37 - 12 2010] [livejournal.com profile] the_dream_king: FFFFFFF
[11:38 - 12 2010] [livejournal.com profile] elf_fu: GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS ARE ASSURING THE PUBLIC THAT A HAZMAT SPRINKE TEAM IS BEING DEPLOYED AS WE SPEAK.

WE HAVEN'T SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS SINCE 2009, VALENTINES DAY, WHERE RED AND PINK WERE THE UNFORTUNATE SPRINKLE VICTIM.

WE'LL HAVE MORE FOR YOU LATER.

::Doop dee dooop, dooop, bad DUM DA DAAA DUMMM::
::THat's news music::

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