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Hooray for Boobies & Other Fat Lady Tales

✏ 38 year old cis female ✏ Fat ✏ Married ✏ Crazy Cat Lady ✏ Opinionated ✏ Swear-ey ✏ All caps silliness ✏ occasional pretendy writer ✏ LJ immigrant ✏ Journaling since 2006 ✏ Ex chatroom /forum role player ✏ Now on Tumblr ✏
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Within 30 minutes of my first, real no foolin' play session back at The Red Dragon Inn earlier this month I:
  • Had a character read my characters mind without permission.
  • Read something I had put in actions and use that in their RP in a very, very, very god-mode-y way.
  • Watched thought sniping abound (from a player that does nothing but thought-snipe since The Dawn of Time Anyway)
  • Been filled in that the Bat-shit insane is still bat shit and insane. And in some cases, worse.


WOW GUYS, I MISSED YOU, TOO.

Where are all my sane people at? Tell me you haven't been chased away :(

IN OTHER BETTER NEWS:

Check out the new post on 2phatgeeks:The Beautiful, Calming sounds of a crazy fat man. Now for your phone!
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The moment you've all been waiting for. ASK DRUNK MEL SHIT, THE VIDEO.

yes my friends. Another drunk Mel Video.
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In which I embarrass myself because it is what I am good at:



  • I quit smoking nearly five(?) four (? God I can't remember) years ago--but I would hurtle a newborn for a phillies chocolate and or bullseye raspberry/grape cigarello. First of all, phillies chocolate cigars do not, even remotely smell like smoke to me. They are flowery, spicy, and perfume like. The raspberry/grape bullseye unfiltered cigarello's are just motherfucking crack. 

  • I really like Azealia Banks 212 (explicit), Van Vogue (explicit) and 1991 (explicit)

  • My husbands biscuits are as good as sex. (Yes, I have had good sex. And I have also had good biscuits. But not both at the same time for safety reasons.)

  •  I would do Jenna Marbles

  •  I used to text RP ALL DAY ERR'DAY. Now I just want to MMO, and RP once every week in them and just with certain types of players and people because I am old and bitchy. Most of the time however, every time I do try and RP in MMO's my a) stomach acts up, b) I have to go c) something happens where in I can't even start anyway d) no one is role playing ever anyway. 

  • I would do strange things for an MMORPG that hasn't all been done before. A non-fantasy one. Or at least, not all fantasy.

  • a) Especially if it had no sexualized cute beings I can play as. 

  • I am bad at keeping up with all the things I like to do. 

  • Despite trying to train them my birds are still major dickheads most of the time. Fluffy, cute little fuckfaces. 

  • a) I call them fuckfaces frequently.

  • b) I keep hoping they will pick up all my bad language. So far: no dice :( 

  • January of 2013 begins the Looking for a House We Can Afford. I expect the first three to six months of that year to be a complete and total house-hunting emotional roller coaster in which I will take the entire internet--or anyone willing to read it--with me. 

  • My mothers death last year during December has made me dread Christmas as much as I look forward to it. I alternatively feel like laying down and giving up and decorating everything with tinsel at the same time. I both adore and sob helplessly when alone at home and a christmas song slipped into my winamp playlist comes on. I may implode this christmas. I don't know. 

  • My periods used to be occasions in which I wish I could sink into a real burning pit of molten lava because it would probably hurt less and I'd be less bitchy. Thanks to my happy pills, I have not had a single bad period since taking them. 

  • Despite living in Florida and it being one million degrees out in the summer, it is often so cold in our apartment I have to wear socks and a sweater. I am a horrible, horrible person to the environment and I can't rustle up enough concern to care.  Winter time however if it dips below 70 we do shut it off and throw open windows. Yayyy, I guess? 

  • I forgive but I really do not forget. Ever. And if you are a repeat offender eventually I stop forgiving. I just won't tell you.

  • a) I am always a hypocrite with the above in mind. 

  • b)  I do a lot of the things I absolutely fucking hate other people doing. I'm working on it, but I suspect I will always be like this. 

  • I am like my father, where in I say I will do something and then I won't/forget/change my mind/get distracted. I don't ever mean it personally. I just do it. I think I might have some form of ADHD or hey is that a rainbow I like kitties they are UNICORNS!

  • I would rather daydream it/visualize it in my head than write it. 

  • I have stretch marks on top of my stretch marks which also ride stretch marks into stretch mark canyon where they live in stretch mark houses with stretch mark babies with stretch mark families. Stretch marks. 

  • I have basically stopped drinking water to slarp crystal light. ....At least I don't drink soda anymore? 

  • I am easily touched and easily moved to tears. I cry in movie theaters but do the LOOK STRAIGHT AHEAD CASUALLY WIPE CHEEKS HOPE NO ONE NOTICES OH GOD NOOOOOOOO DON'T LET RAPUNZELS TRUE LOVE DIE SOB SOB SOB SOB

  • I have never had a professional massage. I can't get over the complete discomfort of stranger touching me=someone strange looking at my body=juding me=finding me hidious=OH GOD THE SUN IT BURNS=HISS=CRAWL BACK INTO MY CAVE=ARE THEY LOOKING AT MY FAT=THEY ARE SO LOOKING AT MY FAT

  • I like food too much to ever be skinny. 

  • I WANT TO LURK ON YOUR BLOG AND READ YOUR CONFESSIONS.

  •  

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In bullet time:

  • Got a mammogram last week. Didn't get a call back until two days ago. They found something they aren't 100% sure of on my right boulder, so they want me back in to do an ultra sound/breast compress. They must not be very worried, they scheduled that two weeks from now.

  • Go to Orlando Friday to get my second set of Biometerics for immigration. (Fingerprinting AGAIN). This is the second set of fingerprints. I will more than likely have to go get a third when I apply for full citizenship.

  • Saving up for a house is hard. We haven't managed to put anything away this year, but we did manage to update A LOT of computer stuff. Our second, larger SSD drives will arrive in time for SWTOR and I couldn't be happier.

  • I have high blood pressure. The Dr. said before he wants to even think of medicating, I am to buy a BP monitor and keep records. Have been doing so.

  • Dr. also said drop as much of the carbohydrates as possible. Am trying ; ; It's hard and I am basically hungry all the time right now.

  • Last thing to get out of the way is Lady Bits. But it has to wait again because our money's tied up in Dr.s

  • Teeth cleaning coming up soon too. Augh.

  • I HAVE PUT UP ALL THE CHRISTMAS THINGS IN MY HOUSE AND I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS I LOVE IT. <3 All caps for excitement! Christmas is coming! Which means a Who Wants A Mel Christmas Card post + Wish list exchange post is coming up.

  • Created a Holiday wish: hoping for $200 raised from now until Jan 1st for Diabetes.

  • Planning and writing HUGE December event for RDI, this time ON PURPOSE and with ENTHUSIASM and less FEAR

  • NaNoWriMo word count sits at 3707 on day 2. I thinks that's just spiffy and look forward to winning another year.


  • If you'd like to read what I've written so far, I have them up at D.A.

    I also have a huge list of writing resources for fellow NaNoWriMo writers, and they can be found here: http://epicureanpoetry.deviantart.com/journal/#/d4eqtha

    Also spending way too much time on Google+ and Tumblr.

    P.S, have these:
    eeeeexcellent thisistotallysaneguys

    Hi Live Journal/ Dream Journal. I am bad at keeping up with you now--did I miss anything?--forgive me?
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    Since I posted this on my Google+ and my Facebook, I decided to post this here, too.

    Sorry about that, Live Journal :( But compared to the instantaneous nature of Google+ and such, I'm sort of distracted from you right now. I still love you, though.

    Also, I am really hoping we get kids this Halloween. We didn't get a single visitor last year :(


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