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Hooray for Boobies & Other Fat Lady Tales

✏ 38 year old cis female ✏ Fat ✏ Married ✏ Crazy Cat Lady ✏ Opinionated ✏ Swear-ey ✏ All caps silliness ✏ occasional pretendy writer ✏ LJ immigrant ✏ Journaling since 2006 ✏ Ex chatroom /forum role player ✏ Now on Tumblr ✏
elf_fu: (Default)
Originally posted by [ profile] emily_goddess at post
Need a little pick-me-up?


You comment with your username and then people comment anon with things they find beautiful/awesome about you. Let's spread some love, LJ!

(I'm on page 15, if anyone's looking)
elf_fu: (muppetWTF)
I have two, and tomorrow will make 3 days of poetry to catch up on for NaPoWriMo. I wonder if I can do it?

Still struggling to fix my sleeping, which means that I am all over the place energy level wise + moodwise + online times. Hope to fix that after April. Also, who'd have thought planning a big pretend-event for pretendy-fun times would keep me worried and up at night?

One of friends had some really great news. She got a job--in this economy and the way things are now, a real no foolin' job. That's pretty amazing and I'm super excited.

Another one of my friends is dealing with the big C word, and I'm thinking about her.

Two others are stuck in places I wish they weren't.

Handfuls more are struggling to keep their heads above water.

So of course, I'll do a meme--because that makes sense

If I were a stone, I would be a plain old fashioned grey drive-way pebble. Possibly worn and smooth.
If I were a tree, Cuipo, Cavanillesia platanifolia.
If I were a bird, I would be a very round, fluffy Monk parakeet. AKA: quaker parrot.
If I were a machine, I'd be pink.
If I were a tool, I'd be me. (Hurr hurr harr harr. I'm a tool, get it?)
If I were a flower plant,, I would be Queen Anne's lace They grew everywhere all over any green place in Nova Scotia during the spring. They were tiny, delicate and white--and generally considered a weed.
If I were a kind of weather, I would be Florida sunstorms. Sunshine at your front door and thunderous down pour from the back.
If I were a mythical creature, I would be a unicorn. Shut up, I would.
If I were a musical instrument, I would be a cello.
If I were an animal, a fat, spoiled tabby cat.
If I were a color, I would be neon, eye searing, brain damaging pink.
If I were an emotion, I would be never the same emotion twice.
If I were a vegetable, I would be an apple. Round and red.
If I were a sound, I would be some wordless, warm and inviting chant sung by Lorenna McKennit.
If I were an element, I would be water.
If I were a car, I would be an old Volkswagen diesel rabbit with rust patches and a horrible paint job. Hellova thing to look at, but always guaranteed to get you from point A to point B, every time, and cheap as hell.
If I were a song, I would be '81 by Joanna Newsom
If I were to trade places with another person, it would be me any one of my female characters--except the drow. I put Suliss' through things no one ever deserves to go through.
If I were a food, I would be a big fat pink cuppycake with too much butter cream icing.
If I were a place, I would be a window seat in an old house--thickly padded with a throw blanket near by and a shelf full of books. People would come and sit and read about far-away places, day dream about far-a-way things and bask in the magic of a lazy afternoon with tea.
If I were a material, I would be cotton.
If I were a taste, I would be Genmaicha tea. Sweet, leafy green tea with the nuttiness of roasted rice--also cheap.
If I were a religion, I would be the church of no churchs, love yourself, love your family, do your best, do right if you can, stop-beating-yourself-up, being-mean-to-other-human-beings, please-hug-someone, we-are-all-mad-here, non religious church of the Geeky day Saints all Hail the Hypno Toad.
If I were an object, I would be Monty Python's Rabbit with Big Sharp Pointy Teeth slippers.
If I were a word, I would be 'warm'.
If I were a body part, I would be 'belly'. Because you snorggle cat bellies. You rub fuzzy bellys. You sleep on round, soft bellies. You tickle bellies. You touch and sometimes lick bellies. But either way, the belly is one of the softest, best spots.
If I were a facial expression, I would be confused.
If I were a subject in school, I would be English.
If I were a cartoon, I would be Pinkie Pie.
If I were a shape, I would be pear.
If I were a number, I would be 1.
If I were a month, I would be April, because it IS the cruellest sometimes most beautiful month.
If I were a day of the week, I would be Sunday.
If I were a time of day, I would be 3 am.
If I were a direction, I would be east.
If I were a piece of furniture, I would be a big, huge, soft fluffy lazy-boy.
If I were a sin, I would be envy. It's all I do sometimes.
If I were a historical figure, I would be dead.
If I were a liquid, I would be coffee.
If I were a method of death, I would be diabetes.
If I were a planet, I would be saturn. It was liked obviously because it's got a ring on it.
If I were a scent, vanilla.
elf_fu: (noideawhatsgoinon)
Good morning. Guess who started the day the right way, by watching Disney's Tangled? And then ended up crying like a little girl in not one, not two, but three spots in the film?

...Okay you're right. It was Shawn. And that brings me to our next segment about tears!

I first stumbled upon my first Friending Frenzy thanks to [ profile] theferrett. Through him, I met a lot of interesting and new people that said, "what the hell? We've got Ferrett in common, let's see what else we have in common!"

Some of them stayed. Some of them quietly left. Some of them turned out to not really like what I had to say or what I post that much. Some of them I didn't like what they had to say or what they posted. We went our separate ways and that was that.

But the majority of those I added to my Live Journal friends list that day, I think almost a year ago--have remained. I have made new, wonderful, connections through the Frenzy and I have fallen in love with the idea ever since then.

What is a Friending Frenzy?

These are all of the people who I have added to my Live Journal friends list, and who have added me back,
11th_letter, 1_rhiannon_1, acidremembered, afoxmask, aiela, ainoko_ironrose, almagill, asim, ayoub, badnoodles, bhanfhlaith, birdzilla, bjorn_andrews, bleed_music, bottledgoose, brigidsdaughter, burping_flower, busy_body, cindy_reddeer, commanderteddog, courtberger, crystalgee, custardfairy, danibannani, datagoddess, dazzedelf, dotsnstripes, dragonoflife, dramatica, dream_smeared, dynamiterabbit, ehzoterik, elbiesee, emily_goddess, emo_snal, erinbear0923, esper3k, eve_dot_com, fae_pendragon, felisdemens, figmentj, fox_bard, gaulish, generatinghype, gothic_smurf, gramina, gravityslave, greybeta, halfspell, hannunvaakuna, horizonchaser, iccara, idastria, iibnf, infernos, joecifur, justbeast, kahje, kidsis, kiretozhe, kogaru, kvancelot, laurapatrick, lawchicky, ldygwynedd, leduck, leesalogic, likeinasong, lilithraevyn, liminal_space, lynzlynz, lyricaldementia, lyssrose, maerhiann, marcfranco, meggybee, mentalmachine, mesteno, moiracoon, moranth, msanborn, mseuphrates, navarra, nounsandverbs, noyoki_sato, philippos42, pixiechan, plinko, quite_annoying, renarcher, rendergirl, rsmronda, sadisticerrorpi, scouts_angel, seeksadventure, shelikesclots, sixswordsamurai, sl_walker, sneakingyoda, swanofgrey, tangled_cianan, terrorcandy, the_dream_king, thebrokenwindow, theliquidspot, thenodrin, thephatgeek, ticklewarrior, tigerphoenix, toeknuckles, tomahto, tough_doll, vikichylde, w0rdinista, wdomburg, wiltinwickwitch, wiredwizard, wither, yellowrosetx, youthculture, zodarzone, zoethe

See all those names? All of those people read me. If you are on that list, that means that you and everyone else on that list--at the very least--have this blog in common. (Which honestly sort of makes me worry about you, because I'm not the sanest stick in the pokey pile. But hey, I love you guys anyway.) Which also means, chances are, you all also share some interest or something that drew you to my blog. So it makes logical sense that all of you should probably get to know each other too!

I have 122 friends on live journal and they are all awesome. You should all get to know each other!

This is your chance to do so! Check out the journals linked in this post or write a little introductory commentary here. Say hi. Tell us who you are, what you like, how you post, how little you post, pet peeves or anything to sell yourself to potential new friends. Or add people randomly and tell them [ profile] elf_fu sent you!

Let's get together and rock out. Let's meet new people and new friends and create warm and fuzzy feelings. 2011 seems like the year that really needs it.

Friending Frenzy! GO!
elf_fu: (chesticles)
My original 5 Question Meme thread <--- should you like me to ask you questions.

And here are my answers for [ profile] kvancelot.

1.) If you could read the thoughts of any one species, which would you choose?
That is a tough call. My first instinct was to say 'My cats.' And then the more I think about it, the more that I realize cats aren't really that hard to read. They adapt to us and after spending years with them, we learn to read their body language to--if not wholly understand what they want or are trying to tell us--get the gist of it enough to know what to do. Cats with crazy wide eyes and ears back, fluffy fur are startled. Growling/hissing cats shouldn't be poked or prodded. Twitchy tail means irritated, maybe-rip-your-eyes-out-if-you-keep-doing-that, butt wiggle + crazy eyes = pounce.

So the more I think about it, the more I would rather be able to read the thoughts of my birds. They're still pretty foreign to me despite having them for years. Understanding what I am doing wrong that makes them defensive/bitey would be such a happy break through, because I could know and change my behavior to build more trust between them. And ultimately, reach out to Chicken and know how to make her trust us.

2.) If you could go to any time besides this, past or present, when would you choose to go?
A few years ago I would not have hesitated to say that I would have loved living during the renaissance period. And then I realize 1.) as a woman my choices have instantly plummeted to "have no rights, pop out babies, probably live covered in lice and shoveling some rich mans fields and eating turnip soup and then dying at 30 from my 20th kid or some horrific mundane disease that could be cured today," And I realized that I am more in love with the romantic ideal of the renaissance/medieval period than anything else.

I think that I would dearly love, instead, to see the future. 100 or 1000 years from now, I have a keen want to know: will our sun give out early? Do we achieve space travel and find other planets to colonize? Do we self destruct? Do we have a dystopian high-technology future or do we all get our shiny ST:tNG like shiny future? Or do we royally screw up and blow up everything and kill ourselves off? Do we evolve finally--and if we do, do we get some neat shit like night vision or stupid shit like a sixth finger and lose all of our toes but the big toe?

3.) What's one of your guiltiest pleasures?
[ profile] ontd Seriously. I check that community every day and sometimes twice a day. I want to blame it on the fact my mother watched Entertainment Tonight a lot, and given the television channels we had were scarce and few to pick between--I ended up watching it...But the truth is, I just love it. I read it everyday to check on the gossip, what movies are being made, might be made, television shows rumored to be in the works, follow the news about different actors and actresses...And I mock myself for it, lots.

4.) If you could visit any one fictional character in books/TV/movies/anything ever, who would you visit?
Alistair. Even if it was to catch a glimpse of him from afar.

5.) For just one day, you can have any hairstyle you'd like. Which do you choose?
Something completely crazy. Something bright, livid, eye searing hot-pink that I can roll right out of bed with one morning, pass by in the mirror, run my fingers through it and have it look as wild and crazy as if some hipster stylist had just spent an hour on it and be done with it. Something short and choppy, feathered with long strands too.
elf_fu: (Zoiberg)
My answers for The Five Question Meme, asked by [ profile] moranth

1)How does it feel to be published? I know you've said it before, but I want you to really GUSH this time :3

I don't think its possible to gush any further. And in all honesty, now that the giddiness has passed I am faced with the question: How do I write more, and write better than that? It feels like the only place to go is further up or to plummet downward in a spiral of, "tsk tsk. She had so much potential. Look where it got her?" The latter is probably my own brain and nature trying to sabotage me.

2)What's some place you'd like live given the chance? If you absolutely HAD to move. (just so you can't say where you already are. haha)

I want to have the money or the means someday to live in a two bedroom apartment that is newer than the one we have now. (I don't...know of many people who say they dream about living in a 2 bedroom apt, usually its you know, "a house," or "a glitzy condo.") I am forever grateful in finding a 1 bedroom home I can call my own, I really, really am. If we stay here for a long time, that's fine. I'm happy to have a place.

But I day dream about a 2 bedroom with more windows, lots of light, a tiny screened in porch and a kitchen that doesn't have cabinetry and appliances 30 years old. (God that sounds so ungrateful to me ROFL)

3)I know you did NaNoWriMo last year, but do you have any other large stories in the works?

I don't. In all honesty? The last three years all of my writing has poured out of me during July, (Flash Fiction Month) and NaNo. And to be truthful, I stopped all work on my NaNo writing after it was done. For someone who loves to write, only doing it twice a year sort of makes me a bit of a hypocrite, hey?

4)If you could be/meet a mythical creature which would you be/meet? (vampires and werewolves are off the table)

I have always wanted to meet Belgarath, and I think in all honestly if I could be anyone, I would want to be a disciple of Aldur and live in that world David Eddings created.

5)If you could gain mastery of one talent, be it writing, drawing, some physical like martial arts, singing, dance; would you? If so, which would it be and why? If not, why not?



I carry the words, the stories, the phrases and paragraphs of authors and poets that touch me through out my life. Many of these people are long gone, but their hearts live forever in the printed page or online and many of them are carried forever by those who read them and are touched by them. To me, there are few things as amazing as that kind of immortality.

I want to live forever, carried around inside someone's heart.


elf_fu: (Default)

May 2017

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