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Hooray for Boobies & Other Fat Lady Tales

✏ 38 year old cis female ✏ Fat ✏ Married ✏ Crazy Cat Lady ✏ Opinionated ✏ Swear-ey ✏ All caps silliness ✏ occasional pretendy writer ✏ LJ immigrant ✏ Journaling since 2006 ✏ Ex chatroom /forum role player ✏ Now on Tumblr ✏

Apr. 24th, 2007

elf_fu: (Christslinger)
"Whoops, I farted!" - Shawn's mother, during Grandma's birthday dinner.

"IT'S ABOUT THE BABY JESUS!" *Smacks Shawn hard.* -Grandma Ruth, Christmas Day.

"And then she shot herself in the head." - Shawn's mother, same Christmas Day.

"A Garden sounds great!"- Shawn's mother.

"I just don't want a big hole in the backyard with nothing in it for months." - Shawn's mother, after we dug the hole for the Garden.

"Well, I think we should get some extra just in case and then we can all get drunk, shoot up heroin, and eat our feet." -Shawn, testing to see if I was paying attention.

"Oh! Let's stop and eat at Leg Collector!" - Me, pointing out the window last year toward RED LOBSTER.

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