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Hooray for Boobies & Other Fat Lady Tales

✏ 38 year old cis female ✏ Fat ✏ Married ✏ Crazy Cat Lady ✏ Opinionated ✏ Swear-ey ✏ All caps silliness ✏ occasional pretendy writer ✏ LJ immigrant ✏ Journaling since 2006 ✏ Ex chatroom /forum role player ✏ Now on Tumblr ✏

Jun. 26th, 2007

elf_fu: (whoop-dee)
Dear The Internet and Websites found therein,

Wouldn't it be cool if we could resize a viewers web browser to be 400x600 pixels?



    NO.

    IF YOUR FUCKING WEB SITE RESIZES MY GOD DAMN BROWSER WINDOW TO SOMETHING YOU THINK IS FAR MORE SNAZZY, FUCKING STOP YOU DOUCHE NOZZLES.

    I am so not hip with people forcing my web browser to do what they want. I don't go to YOUR house and make your windows shrink, shake, resize, dance on tip toes to Tiny Tim, or anything else for that matter. DON'T DICK AROUND WITH YOUR READERS/USERS WEB BROWSER WINDOW. Trust me when I say they hate it, not just me.


Let's tell people to sign up, register, or download something, but totally hide the link so they can't ever find it and have to go on a mystical magical wonderful hide-and-seek through all of our pages to find shit and oh god won't it be AWESOME?



    No. Not it won't be awesome.

    Don't hide things, don't make your readers, viewers or members have to click through King-advertising-pop-up-Kong to get to whatever it is you are offering and they may want. This is a sure fire way to lose your membership.


Snot-green and hot sunset orange is a GREAT color combination on my neon yellow web site!



    I cannot believe some of the color combinations on some of the websites I've come across. Granted, I'm taking a pretty big damn stretch having a personal journal in shades of pink and green, but come on people. Hot pink and bright orange generally does not work, and unless you've got a very good eye for color this combination is going to make your readers wish they'd never been to your site and leave.

    Because they have to go run their eyes under water because IT BURNS. OH GOD IT BURNS.


It'll be awesome when they hover over my links and they'll disappear because I make the links hover over state the same color as my page background!



    I hated this when I first saw it on a web page, and I hate it now. Nobody likes disappearing anything on a web page when it's something as important as navigation. It isn't cute, it isn't trendy. It makes my life difficult and forces my lazy ass to pay double attention to what I am clicking on.

    The internet is also, lazy. We don't like it when you do things that makes us have to anything extra that normally isn't a lot of fun.

    Also, this may be just my personal pet peeve but just stop and no one will get hurt.


Best regards, darling Internet,
Love,
Mel.

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elf_fu

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