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Hooray for Boobies & Other Fat Lady Tales

✏ 38 year old cis female ✏ Fat ✏ Married ✏ Crazy Cat Lady ✏ Opinionated ✏ Swear-ey ✏ All caps silliness ✏ occasional pretendy writer ✏ LJ immigrant ✏ Journaling since 2006 ✏ Ex chatroom /forum role player ✏ Now on Tumblr ✏

Jul. 12th, 2007

elf_fu: (Dread Cap'n squishy pants.)
Hairy situations.
I am no longer bothered by the short black hair in my coffee cup at home, or pulling hair out of my mouth or randomly choking on a ball of it during sleep.

I used to think hair+mouth=ew. After several years with various lengths-of-coat’s cats, I can safely say I barely worry about hair.

Fear of poop lessened.
If you spoil your animals rotten and love them to bits, there’s one thing you’ll understand. Either when young, they’ll have accidents, or when they get older, the same—or sometimes--you have to help them.

Let’s just say that your fear of poop will lessen, whether you like it or not.

You don’t mind the odd looks, or the scratches.
If you’ve ever owned a cat, then when you dart a quick glance at my hands and see that they’re all scratched to hell, particularly around the tops of the wrist and sides—you’ll probably nod your head sympathetically and understand.

Or maybe you’ll think I’m emo.

Truth is cats between the ages of six – one years of age (generally) go through what is politely known by their owners as “terrible twos.” Good luck attempting to now pet your once cuddly bundle of joy without being bitten or clawed, good luck getting her down from the curtains, good luck I say. Kitty sometimes will enjoy seeing how hard she can bite before the water bottle comes out or the emphatic attempt to teach her between play biting and bad biting.

Snot holds no power over me.
Eye goobers, nose goobers, close up encounters at night sniffing my face for whichever reason and then sneezing all over it. Cat-colds with double the snot-sneezy-love, whatever the form I’ve pretty much just accepted my lot in life and understood that snot is part of it.

I have accepted that my head makes a great springboard.
I’ve adjusted to being woken up by a deceptively small, supposedly dainty creature with all four paws on my head suddenly doubling her usual weight for reasons that defy logic; only when standing on my head. I’ve also stopped bolting upright in bed from being jostled out of a dead sleep from it, and can usually return to rest without my heart pounding out my chest.

Why, however, my skull is such a great springboard to get to the headboard of the bed I shall never know.

My feet are toys.
I never really understood how wonderfully sensitive my feet were until a pair of incisors made for tearing flesh from bone were playfully wrapped around the tender fleshy part of toes, or claws were lovingly sunk into the top of my foot at six in the morning while I am blearily attempting to let my bladder have its freedom.

There’s nothing cuter than having seven pounds of sleek black dart for the bottoms of my stumbling feet in pre-morning darkness on my way to the bathroom. Really, I love it.

Animals have gas, Shawn has gas. What sense of smell?
Between Shawn and the cat, I’m not sure whose ass is worse. At least Flora is cute.


And despite it all I wouldn’t trade her for any other. She’s frustrating, she breaks things, steals my socks, yowls at four in the morning, sits on my head, chews my toes, farts and stares at me like it’s my fault, and has rotten breath. But I love her to bits. It’s a shame more people can’t apply that sort of thing to their lives and their relationships within it.



**And today in the mail, came a TV wall mount. While I like the idea, I some how don't think that's the gift in mind. Maybe tomorrow, eh?
elf_fu: (RAWR)
I JUST CAME.

IT'S A CAMERA. HE BOUGHT ME A CAMERA. THERE'S A CAMERA. OH A CAMERA. IT'S A CAMERA WITH A TRIPOD AND A CAMERA CASE WITH BATTERIES AND A BATTERY RECHARGER BUT A CAMERA.

OMG.

HAHAHA. CAMERA.

FujiFilm s700, 7.1 mega pixels, 48x zoom. CAMERRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

EDIT: Here's some webcam shots of it that I just took, like, RIGHT NOW.

OMG SO EXCITED. The tripod is all fancy shit! It's got levels on the legs and the base itself, folds up and comes with it's own carrying bag. The camera case itself is a swanky little over-the-shoulder bag with a padded center for the camera to rest in with little pockets everywhere for batteries, the lens-cleaning kit that came with it, memory card, etc. The camera itself came with four energizer batteries, as well as eight rechargeable, a recharger which is plugged in, wires to hook the camera up to the T.V, a thingiemabobbie that hooks into a USB port for uploading images that looks like a little black box, OMG SQUEE.
elf_fu: (>:-D)
So, for the first day with the Fuji camera I took 360 pictures around the house; outside and in.

Out of those, I'd say I hit the mark with five or six. Most of them are 3072x2304 pixels except for three . (Playing with quality.)

So far I have learned, I would say roughly 20% of the shit I can do so far with this camera in one day. I've got so, so many buttons and doo-dads and thingie mabobbies and settings to learn and get used too. The tripod is a fucking absolutely awesome touch because I have shaky human hands.

And, without further ado, here are some of the better images from the FujiFilm s700 beneath this cut. Since most of them are 3072x2304, these are resized and far smaller. )

And for those of you even more curious, Shawn actually gave me more than "go to newegg.com", here's the specific link to the combo deal of camera, camera case, tripod, card, lens cleaner, charger, rechargeable batteries, and multi function card reader/writer. (Look for the Combo tab, middle left of page.)http://www.newegg.com/Product/Product.aspx?Item=N82E16830122110

Also, Shawn purchased all new fans. See, they said they were "silent" fans and well, I just didn't believe them.

Until he put them in and turned on my machine and had to tell me he'd turned it on because I couldn't here the ARRRROOOOOAOOAAAAA T.I.E fighter fans. It's beautiful. Honestly, all the sound there is the tinnnny sound a computer naturally makes with NO fan. I COULD DIE RIGHT NOW AND IT'D BE OKAY.

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